Slow Look Reflection

As I looked at the painting repeatedly, a phrase kept repeating in my mind: "I'm not happy. This painting seems to make me feel increasingly uncomfortable." I recalled the moment I first saw the painting. I was drawn to it because I liked its dark colors, but there were only a few simple buildings in the painting, which looked more like a random photo taken than a so-called artwork that could be exhibited in an art gallery. So, I chose this painting following our instructions. At first, I seemed very impulsive and even helpless, as I didn't understand why we were required to stare at an artwork we didn't like. However, during the first round of appreciation, I followed the requirements and described all the details I could see as best as possible. The content of the painting was indeed straightforward, so after trying to look at it for a long time, I could only write down a few details. During the first description round, I wrote down some simple descriptions: dark colors, only two seemingly abandoned buildings, and a tower that seemed to be standing between the two buildings for some reason, with several things hanging from it, like scarves or streamers. That was all the detail I could see with all my strength. I stared at my notes and the painting back and forth many times, but I couldn't think of anything else to see. At this time, the teacher asked us to pause momentarily and exchange feelings with the students around us. So, I briefly chatted with the students around me about my feelings before starting the second round of appreciation.

I'm not sure what else I can see, but there is a subtle change. I know that in this round, I have finally calmed down. When I first started appreciating it, due to the limited content of the painting itself, I was really impatient as I didn't know what details I could write down. But in the second round, I began to calm myself down, imagine and feel, and ponder why the author left behind such a work and why the school chose such a work for us. This time, I finally felt emotions in this painting. I felt war and desolation, but I also seemed to be searching for light in this desolation. I began to speculate on emotions in the painting, and many images emerged in my mind, such as a destroyed home in war, the abandoned building on the left without windows representing despair, and the building on the right with windows and light representing hope. In addition, I began to bring my emotions into this painting. I suddenly thought of myself in a foreign country, standing alone at the midpoint between home and foreign land, examining the light in my heart. Growing up, I seemed to be bright and was the child standing at the top of the tower, but my heart was filled with mixed feelings. The desolate, abandoned building on the left now seemed like an apartment emptied out every time I changed schools, while the buildings on the right with warm yellow lights seemed to be where I indeed called home. Strong emotions began to surge within me, and I felt very sad, even wanting to cry.

To be honest, I still don't know what this painting wants to express, but for this painting, I have already formed enough connections between myself and the painting. I placed myself in this painting, which is desolate on the surface but is trying its best to find its own light. This reminds me of the name of this painting, "The Circle Never Sleeps." In the first round of appreciation, I couldn't understand the meaning of the Circle in the title. I originally guessed that there might be some painting technique involved, presenting the painting by drawing circles, but I repeatedly looked at the rectangular buildings in front of me and couldn't imagine where the circles came from. But when I started to really bring emotions into the second round, I suddenly understood the meaning of this title. I felt that this circle represents everyone's life; we face problems, solve problems, and so on, until death and then reincarnation.

At the end, the teacher asked us to describe the process we just went through in one word. I used only one word, which was "sad." This was my strongest feeling. It was not because the process was boring, but because I felt the emotional impact of the painting on me. Even after that class, my mood remained unresolved for a long time. In addition, I suddenly realized something. In this era of information explosion, people have become impulsive and impatient. At first, I started appreciating this work with a mindset of just going through the course content. However, with the guidance of the teacher and the necessity of being compelled to continue observing, I, who initially had the lucky thought that this process might end quickly, began to take it seriously. And when I became serious, I also gained unexpected emotional resonance. I think this process taught me that when we wholeheartedly and seriously do something, no matter how painful the process is, as long as we persist and put in effort, we will suddenly gain something at some point.